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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

What do I want to be remembered for?

This is a tough question to ask of myself. Mainly because if I answer honestly then I must in turn have the kind of character it takes to be remembered in such a way. Then I must think of the inevitability that I will leave loved ones behind one day and I must put myself in their shoes. It makes me think of how I hope the people I care about most perceive me, and even more so how I have treated them and made them feel.

Specifically, I want to be remembered in many different ways depending on the person doing the remembering. I know this may not make sense but I think that we all tend to play different roles in different relationships and we all want to be remembered for the roles we have played. There are some people in my life that I would like to be remembered as a leader who is strong and courageous and others that I would like to remember me as a devoted and faithful servant. There are those I would like to think of me as a stern, righteous, no-nonsense type and those that I hope could see me as a fun-loving, lackadaisical, goofball. I don't believe that would mean changing who I am or not being the same with everyone. Like Shrek says.....I am like an onion. I have layers and I'd like for people to be able to see different levels of those layers.

Generally, there is one thing that I would like for everyone I meet to remember me for. Most of all I don't want to be remembered second. I know that anything good in me is not my own doing so I can take no credit for it. Christ is who I want people to see most of all. Even within my "layers" I hope that Christ is most prevalent. If nothing else from my life is spoken of other than the way that Christ has redeemed me then my life is a success. I want His work in my life to be remembered. He transformed me from a broken, hopeless, misdirected, addicted, lustful, angry, lonely, and self destructive state and made me a new creation. Through Christ I have a purpose, I have joy and I have been set free. All of my dispositions, my character, and my actions are owed to His work in my life. I am nothing without grace.

The previous paragraph may seem cliche'. I am comfortable with that. I am not one to be very cliche' but in this case I believe it is the only way to be. I have learned in the past few months just how heavily I rely on God to nudge me in the right direction. Well, "nudge" is a bit of an understatement, but you know what I mean. I have realized while typing this that everything that I would like to be remembered for can be accredited to grace. That realization has led me to the conclusion that I don't want to be remembered at all. Without grace I am a bitter, sarcastic, selfish, know-it-all that doesn't deserve all of the love I have been blessed by. Who would want to be remembered by all of their worst qualities? Don't remember me. Remember who redeemed me. Remember who is the Redeemer.